It is amazing to have come to the day when people stop me and say “Woah, is your baby always this happy??” Pretty much, ya, she is. It’s been a long road though in her tiny five month life.
Anybody who’s had a “colicky” baby can attest to this: the crying feels like it will never end. It feels so personal. It feels like you’ve failed your child. It feels like you must be doing something wrong. People will tell you “Oh, babies cry…” or “oh she just has gas…” Even as a first time, very worried, and overprotective mom, I knew that it was more than that. This child was in pain. She’d look into my eyes and seemed to be pleading with me to help her. When your baby cries for one, two, three hours at a stretch… pretty much your entire reality gets warped.
Finally, after weeks and weeks of this (or was it years?!) one day she had a little blood in her diaper. Finally the pediatrician wanted us to come in to the office. Finally. They tested and found that she in fact had a whole lot of blood in her diaper, and that probably the green color of her poo meant that she’d been having blood in her poop for quite some time; the green was digested blood. They gave her Pepcid which helped her upper GI symptoms a lot, but still… at nearly four months old, she was having bloody diarrhea four or five times a day. The answer, from the pediatric GI specialist, seemed so simple. No, she doesn’t have a malformed gut, or some terrible disease… she has a sensitivity (or an allergy) to dairy, soy, egg… or all of them. I had given up dairy on February 12 (yes, I recall the exact day I last indulged in chocolate…) but still her symptoms persisted. Two weeks after totally giving up soy and egg (which let me tell you SOY IS EVERYWHERE), suddenly, the real Addison seemed to emerge. A huge breath of fresh air.
Today we had our follow up appointment with the specialist who told us that she looks great. No need for Pepcid; as he expected the “acid reflux” was a symptom, not the real problem. She’s growing, she’s happy, keep it up. Oh. Huh. I thought I’d be reintroducing (finally) these foods. Nope. Not until she is one year old. In January. So still no going out to eat, still packing my own dinner at weddings, still bringing almond milk in a little tupperware if I want to get coffee at the drive through. But seriously. Look at that little baby’s eyes… nothing could be more worth it.
I have no idea really how many people really read this blog, but if you have one of “those babies” who will not stop crying, my heart goes out to you. I hope that you can figure out what ails that little one because life on the other side is so so good.